Solstice En Absencia

I first wanted to apologize, not that anyone really follows this blog or anything, but it felt like i should just to clear the air. Ive been away from this blog for months now and it actually began because of a login problem between google accounts. Still, i have a hard time imagining it's been this long. what began as an irritation soon lapsed into me considering my path, as i often do, and what it means to me; why i do what i do. It's funny because i have pictures i should post from Samhain.

i remember back in early November, during that odd period just after the 31st. i was reading up on bogs on a different blog site and was putting together a piece for my refference bos. i had been making a lot of head way in my personal one as well and had just purchased a replacement as it was just about full. and then, everything just stopped. i had just bought new candles, cleaned my altar, scraped off the old wax to get ready for the new, and then nothing. i had lost touch with my path; because i realised ive always been following two.

Tradition is a big deal to me, especially family traditions, and that means baking the new years bread, dying the eggs fro the easter breads, easter dinner at one in the morning with my family, church on sundays, festivals, and dancing. and i began to realize i want that same thing for my children one day, that feeling of community that comes from our traditions. we have a lot of folk beliefs too, that get intermingled with magick from the old days, so i had that to look to as well.

its an odd sensation when you wear a cross after wearing a pentagram for so long. i found that the pride, balance, and strength i drew from my star has lessened over the months. ive become quieter, more irate at times too, but i blame that on my lapse in communication with the divine. ive felt lost too, trying to capture the feeling i had, that connectedness, from when i was in third gear. i really want to strike a balance between the two paths so i can be content again, but its not easy, as im sure anyone whose ever tried can reiterate. but im trying, so that has to count for something.

If youve taken the time to read this far, i wanted to thank you for entertaining my ramblings. ive been burnt out, i recognize that now, and i hope that should you ever find yourself in need of guidance, look to the gods, to god, to the divine, or what ever you call it, because when all else fails, They will always listen and speak to you.

As always,
Solstice